Body Confusion: By Reginald Padmore "The Professor - a Masterpiece

In this two article series in which I am dealing with Calypso Masterpieces by Vincentian calypsoians. Although there are many classic calypsos; it is important to note, from my knowledge, there is only one other calypso that fits into this category, and that is Lord Nelson Liar. 

Now it is time for me to present the second of the two Masterpiece. The first Master Piece I deal with was "Ain't have nothing at all" by Brother Ebony, and the second one is a song that was done by one of St. Vincent and the Grenadines master entertainers, I said master entertainers because Reginald Padmore the Professor was not merely a calypsoian he was a prolific master of ceremonies and comedian also. 

The song from the Professor that made the Master piece list is the type of song, writers after hearing, wish they came up with the concept and penned the song. I speak of no other song but: Body confusion. This song told a story of a sleeping man who, while a sleep; or to be more specific; while he lie down resting, he overheard a conversation that he later share with the audience. 

This was not a conversation between two or more people; it was not even a conversation between animals. However, this was a conversation between the parts of his physiological anatomy: his own body. This was not a friendly conversation but an adversarial conversation, where grievances were being aired. 

This is a well written song, with genuine gripes that only a creative mind could have come up with; and presented in the manner in which was. If one were to imagine an argument between the selected body parts, the points raise in the song would have actually been valid points of contentions that would have been reason for the selected body parts to argue about. 

The introduction saw an argument erupted between foot and hand. The argument was started by the foot; who made some serious criminal accusation against the hand. The hand on the other hand, retaliated by justifying his alleged criminal acts, by revealing that foot, was not only an accomplice to the crimes, but also benefited from the crimes. The first verse of the song goes like this. 

Verse 1. 

One night in my bed I lie down resting; 

some parts of my body start quarreling, 

Foot tell hands you thieving son-of-a-gun;

when you steal people things, is me does have to run. 

foot say hand man you blasted ungrateful to; 

It's me does spend many to by shoes for you. 

Chorus: 

body, body, body; body confusion. 

body, body, body; big body confusion. 

However, this song continued with other body parts getting involved, in the argument, which led to total chaos among the body parts, which may eventually ended up with the professor totally unable to function with the level of disunity that erupted. Although I cannot remember the rest of that song, it was one of the songs I really enjoyed and was a hit on the radio. 

I wish I was able to go into a greater analytical details of this song, in the same manner I did with brother Ebony's song. Unfortunately, I cannot for the simple reason, I cannot remember the rest of the song, the song is not on YouTube and I don't have access to the song otherwise than that which I remembered.

True Story - Steller Boyea where the revolution began

It was not long before I made my way over the wall that separates the Old Montrose Tennis Center form the Old Montrose Netball Center, when I made my way over to the Netball part of the two sport facility, I discovered a range of Netball talent on the other side of the wall.

It was then I was introduced to another Super athlete, in the person of Stella Boyea. Stella was a short beautiful young woman. She was fit, agile, fast, flexible, with dangerously fast reflexes and an extremely high vertical leap. Stella had a fast, athletic game that was also airborne. While R-Kelly believed he could fly and sang about his believe, Stella Boyea knew how to fly, she did not sang, talked, proclaimed or in any other way, boast of her acquired flying skills; but every opportunity she got she lift and took off like an Eagle.

By this time, I was in my mid-teens, I estimated Stella was in her early twenties. Joanna Ballantyne my favorite player was in her mid-teens also, at this stage of Stella's Netball game, even at her still tender age, she was, experience and was in full control of her body, she played with a mediocre level team, but her athletic ability, agility, superior sporting intellect, and acute sense of the game was responsible for her team winning tough game, achieved and maintained Premier Division status and standard and even won a few cups.

In my opinion, Stella Boyea was primarily responsible for starting the revolution of the sport of Netball. She took it from a game that was played by dainty ladies, to a fast, up tempo, athletic sport; In other words, Stella Boyea put the calypso rhythm in the Vincy Netball game. She started and therefore put the high flying gymnastics type of aerial dynamic into the Vincy game, changing the style from a ground centered catching game to a gymnastic (not flipping) airborne, moving game. at this stage the game was exciting.

It was interesting the fans pack the stand when Stella Boyea team was playing; They came to see the Netball sensation, In other words Stella Boyea was a big drawer. People from all over came to see her play and they always leave satisfied with the level of excitement she generated.

And then, there came onto the Netball scene a eager teenager Joanna Ballantyne, with lots of energy, skills, etc. ready and eager to prove herself. Watching Joanna Ballantyne and Stella Boyea were like watching two pennies of the same currency, minted in different years. Their games were the aerial aquabatics with creative differences.

I later learn that Stella mentored Joanne in the Girls High School, that is not to take away from the work of Joanne's mother Gloria Ballantyne, who I "heard" was herself a "riot on the net ball court". These two young ladies did for St. Vincent and the Grenadines Netball what, Becket, Scorcher, Winston Soso and Age did for St. Vincent and the Grenadines Calypso.

Just when I was beginning to allow myself to be held captive by the magical plays of Stella Boyea, the woman with the captivating awesome game; migrated. Stella absence hurt the sport tremendously. for her absence left a vacuum in the game, in that:

1. It reduced the level, and the amount of competition in the sports.

2. It deprived young Netballers of the opportunity and privilege of witnessing a different style of play, to emulate and improved upon,

3. It deprived some talented young ladies of the privilege of being mentored by a super athlete like herself.

4. It also reduced the fan base of the sport.

5. It greatly hampered S.V.G chances of achieving full Caribbean Netball dominance.

Another negative of the absence of Stella Boyer's was: the once competitive team that she led to many victories; fade into oblivion. For without Mr. Boyea, with the exception of a few, that team was just a bunch of girls throwing and catching a ball became just that.

Thinking of it; if Joanne Ballantyne, Stella Boyea, the Irish sisters, the Foster sisters, Clothel Youngs, Shirlann Douglas and the other potential national players at that era, had the opportunity to work together for a good four years; playing together as a group, competing on the regional level, getting the opportunity to melted into a puddle and solidified to be come the dominant force they could have been.

Had this happened; St. Vincent and the Grenadines may have achieve total Netball Dominance, within the Caribbean and may have even achieve international dominance also. That was how good Stella Boyea was. She was a difference makers; she was a Super Athlete.

The State of Calypso in St. Vincent and the Grenadines

Since the Ralph Gonsalves administration, took the reign of government over the affairs of St. Vincent and the Grenadines resources; there was the potential for serious decline. This was so because of the overpowering sense of in security of the leader of the Unity Labor Party and the chief administrator of the Government: Ralph E. Gonsalves.

In PM Ralph Gonsalves' first few years as Prime Minister while he, his party and his supporters were still in election victory mode, Ralph Gonsalves enjoyed the songs that praised him, and spoke of his election victory, that tilled the soil of an optimistic future, for the prosperous nation where all Vincentian would have benefited from the prosperity Gonsalves promised; a prosperity the people believed in, but a prosperity that never materialize.

What he did instead, of creating employment and boosting the local industries and export market, he engaged in the firing of Vincentian who were employed by the Government, whom he suspected to have been associated with the opposition Party N.D.P, who lost their hold on the government. Many of the people who voted for the U.L.P because they wanted a change lost their job because of their old alliance with the New Democratic Party (N.D.P). Many of his supporters who found employment under the N.D.P government also lose their Jobs, because someone told him, those people, by virtue of their employment under the N.D.P government, were supporters of the N.D.P.

Gonsalves then boasted that he had created X amount of jobs when all he did was to fire people and replace them with his greedy, incompetent and entitled supporters, and in some case; he changed the job titles and list it as a new job created. He also reclassified youth volunteers program as employment to give the impression he has created employment and he hired and handsomely paid a fleet of prominent people, such as Caspar London, Burns Bonadie, Noel Jackson and others who are not worthy of mentions to write weekly article and to spend hours on end on radio massaging his incompetent ego.

This should have been all of the sign Vincentian Calypsonians needed to know that Ralph Gonsalves did not know what he was doing. because the replacement of personnel, the reclassification and renaming of jobs has nothing to to do with the unemployment figures. Gonsalves lack of creativity, lack of understanding of governance, the working of Government and his total inability to do anything productive but to make big nonsensical speeches; along with his inability to fulfill his political promise awaken the calypso community,

it opened the eyes of those who wanted a change that not all changes are good changes. PM Ralph Gonsalves removed the shame from the eyes of the calypsonian who supported the N.D.P because instead of progress, they only saw mass oppression and incompetence. Gonsalves incompetence provided to much topic that writers like Abijah, Ejector and other prolific writers who were not partisan, but they could not resist to jump up on the river of topics he produced with his foolishness he called administration.

Hell! Ralph Gonsalves was so incompetent that even give Errol "The Man Age" Rose who have long retired with a legend title, to his mane, a reason to start back in full participation in the Calypso business. Before Ralph Gonsalves became Prime Minister, do you know how many people on a daily basis. have been encouraging Age to write and sing his pieces. It took the incompetence of Ralph Gonsalves to pull The Man Age out of retirement. This should bear witness of how incompetent, Ralph Gonsalves is.

Gonsalves who a few years earlier, was being glorified in songs; now he is met with the harshest of truth, about his incompetence. Truth that was covered up; the Calypsonians exposed in songs, truths that were open they put into prospective, acts of in competence were predicted and come to pass. Hell Abijah even join the pennant religion, went to moan, only to shout in the carnival season 2018 to bring the latest news to the community.

Ralph Gonsalves went to bed upset each night, considering what can be done; to save the fabricated reputation I has developed within the Caribbean. It was his friend, employee and California lawyer Richard Damian Ross, an oppressor of black people, who controls his black oppression, through, Masonic, oppressive, occult dealing; help Ralph to come up with a plan. A partial copy of how a few elites in the USA, who control the entertainment business that is referred to as Hollywood, use.

Since you cannot stop the tradition of the calypso competition, and since Ralph cannot stop people from writing, singing, and recording their songs, what he can do is:

1. Control who is heard on the airwaves. Look around and see whose songs are being played on the radios. Surely not the best written songs

2. You being Prime Minister, could also control who wins the competition.

3. As well who gets rewarded for their efforts, by going to the Semifinals and the finals, which are paid appearances.

Thus the plan was put in place, Ralph Gonsalves had a handful of artist who will make the Simi's and the finals in the song related competitions every year. How he chooses then is a subject for another day.

His chosen person to win the calypso Monarch each year is Zamfair “Man Zabgie” Adams, no matter what shittty song this young man sings as long as he enters the show he is guaranteed to win, no ifs, no buts and no may be. The year he do not enter is the year he don't win.

To change the monotony, Ralph E. Ginsalves hand picked Princess Monuque, a Vincentian Trinidadian, who came and take the title, and as of late “Fya” Empress was the replacement for Monique, another Vincy who resides in Trinidad and Tobago. There are fillings like Shena Collis, Shaunelle McKenzie, and others who are so earmarked to be in the Simi's and the finals but not to win the big one. Side note: Don't forget in young Ms. Collies case; overseas song writers must be paid, and they must be paid up front for their work.

For the Soda Monarch, and Raga-Soca Ralph has earmarks, Fireman Hooper, Luther etc. to take those titles.

So when Paul “I-madd” Scrubb, Carlos “Rejecter” Providence, Elvis “Abijah” Abby, Robert “Patches” Knights, Errol “The Man Age” Rose, and the hundreds of others who was blessed with the talent and the skill of Calypso writing and singing, put their best work forward; they will not be played, they will not be rewarded for their work and they will not be recognized for their hard and creative work, until they get the message. And when they do get the message, they will still not be rewarded because; THEY ARE NOT ONE OF US!

The question each calypsion have to asked is: Am I one of them? Am I a part of the hand picked inner circle? If not your ass is yours.

True Story - The best Athlete to take the field of play Period

I was fortunate to have been born when I did, I had the opportunity to see athletes of all caliber performed live in St. Vincent and the Grenadines and within the diaspora. I have also had the opportunity to review the footage of some of the athletic greats of yesterday. Locally I have seen the likes of Dorian Philips the Rosians Goal Keeper. I have never seen a greater goal keeper than Dorian Philips in his young adulthood or even in the later part of his football life. The unfortunate thing is I do not have the video footage to support my claims but the memories of Soccer fans in SVG will attest to this.

I have seen footage of all the greats, of USA Basket Ball such as: Will Chamberlain, Abdul Jabbar, Doctor Irvin, to the unmatched fete of Nate Tiny Archibald, Spud Webb two men who was too small to play the game; but dominated the games of giants weaving a web of fascination around the big men. I have also witnessed the flair of Kobe Bryant, to the levitation of Michael Jordon (footage). I have seen the unbeatable long athletic stride Usain Bolt and the dominance and athleticism of Serena Williams who dominated the game of Tennis, with, hard work, skills, determination, style and flair.

I have watched and weigh all of the competitive athletic performances of these world renowned athletes and still, none of those super-athletes can be compared with the greatest athlete I have ever seen, laced up the booth and take the field of play.

I had no interest in Netball except for the fact that my sister Charmaine, took me to Netball as a toddler. However, I fell in love with the game after I first bear witness to the athletic miracles that was performed by a young lady, who played the game like no other I have seen before or after.

It is hard to think of a Vincentian athlete as being the greatest consistent athletic performer I have ever seen, it is even more difficult to think that an athlete from the lease of the sport Netball, was responsible for leaving an indelible impression on me. An impression, I took with me for the rest of my life; so much so that thirty plus years later, I can write about the impact she had on me.

I went to watch a friend play tennis at the Old Montrose Tennis Center; on the other side of the facility was the Old Montrose Netball Center, the single Netball court, was the center of Netball in St. Vincent and the Grenadines. this was the main netball facility where all competitive Netball games were played. I climbed up on the center column, which supported the wall that parted the facility into a two sport facility, as tennis fans and players will often do.

When I mounted that wall, I was shocked as to what my eyes beheld. I saw a well-built, beautiful, athletic young lady; I heard fans and other called her Joanne, later I got to understand that she was Mr. Gloria Ballantyne president of the Netball Association daughter, Raymond Ballantyne, the ace National Full stopper sister.

I knew the Ballantyne family very well and I knew them all of my life, for very often especially on Saturday, my mother and her younger children, would take what appear to be a long tedious journey on foot, up to visit my Aunty Laris Jack who lived on the other side of Frenches. I always saw a group of guys, hanging out at the Ballantyne home, trying to get in a game of Table Tennis or use their gym; but I have never remember seeing this beautiful young lady before.

At this era of SVG Netball, the game was transformed from what I remembered as a child, which was a slow, uncertain and boring game that was designed to keep elderly people active; to a game, that was played by athletes filled with unbelievable athletic fete.

The game was fast, the players were fit and agile, the skill set were high, the passes were zinging and the sport was highly competitive. Although there was no money associated with playing the sport, the athletes played for the love of the game, the recognition of the adoring fans, and the privilege, the pleasure and the rights to declare I am or we are the best.

At this stage of the sport, it had become a thinking woman's game. It was not about throwing and catching the ball, and curtsying until the ball was thrown to you, because everyone was throwing and catching the ball effectively and efficiently and they were doing that with vigor, strength and a whole lot of athleticism. At this stage in the development of the sport, it was all about out-thinking your opponents, hustle for four quarters and harnessing the collective skill, will, and intelligence of your team, to outperform or outplay the opponent.

Joanne played center, that mean she was the Marshall of her team, she had the responsibility of running the whole court. The center is the central play maker of the team, she is the primary defender, the primary midfield player and the primary attacker,

For the people who had the privilege and the pleasure of watching this young lady play the game of Netball, they would be able to bear testimony to my recollection. Joanne brought everything to and she left it all on the court. She was fit, agile, fast, with tremendous jumping ability, flair, style and class.

Before the NBA was showing off and even before I was exposed to Michael Jordan levitation ability on television, there was Joanne Ballantyne; the teenager who often catches the ball on the run, take the required two steps, leap, left foot out in front of her, and performed a ballerina grand Jete, completing what appear to be a full split in midair, with her hands in third position arabesques, ready to make a perfect pass to one of her team mates.

What made Joanne moves so special, was the height she manage to achieve, the distance she covered and the amount of time she spend suspended in midair when she jumped. Hate her team or love it, moves like these was always enough to bring the on lookers to their feet in an uproar of cheers and applause, a sign they appreciate the aquabatics performance that was put on display by this youth, a performance they have been privilege to witness.

I cannot put a number on the amount of times I saw Joanne, came out of nowhere, like an Eagle swiping away the ball that was intended for another person and in another area on the court, and landing at the edge of the defensive circle, on one foot; pivoting on her toes like a ballerina, with her balance feet stretched out behind her, as she stand suspended on one foot with shaky balance as she looked for the most suited of her player and accurately pass the ball to before taking her balance on both feet.

Joanne was a wizard when it come to stealing balls and interceptions. Often time on defense, Joanne will leap vertically, into the air, in the same manner a circus dolphin would on cue, she would have contorted her body in the same way a dolphin would before falling back into the water. However, when Joanne bend her body in the same manner a dolphin would; it would be to get the advantage over the opponent, to whom the ball was intended.

She would often use both of her hands, bringing them over to the side to which her body was contorted, bringing her hands over the head of opponent to whom the ball was intended, who was also in the air; However, once her hands made contact with the ball; then with lightening fast speed, strength and aggression; she would snatched that ball away, like an angry person reclaiming their properly from the hands of a thief who was caught in the act; while making a picture perfect landing body erected and most often on one leg, in order to avoid being called for a traveling violation.

I have seen Joanne leap so high, that she reached heights that people taller than she was; were unable to reach. With her feet open coming up in front of her, which appear to give her the ability to reach just a little higher, or the required height needed to make the critical interception, which would have resulted in her landing in a stooping position. For it was totally impossible for her to get her legs back in place to accommodate a standing landing. Her displace legs were more than for achieving the height she had attained; but they were also an essential part of her balance at that altitude.

I can recall many other fascinating and unbelievable, gravity defying plays, that was a regular feature by this youth's game; plays I have seen put on display before the appreciative crown that gathered at the Old Montrose Net Ball Center. I will say this, as long as this young lady took the court, plays as I described here was put on display, because as I said earlier she brought everything onto the court and she always leave it all there.

Although I think Ms. Ballantyne was the best player I have every seen; this is not to say Joanne Ballantyne stood alone and reigned supreme over the netball kingdom; for she did not. There were range of other outstanding players that was a part of the sport in this era; players who also performed miraculous aquabatic fate. There were, the grate Stella Boyea, Stella and Joanne played a similar game, both strong, both agile, both fast, both superior athletes; there were also the game of the Irish sisters Gailean and Yolande, that had a similar fast, aerobic game like Joanne Ballantyne, there was also the Foster sister noted Thelma and Joanie foster to name a few. The Foster sister also had a fast energetic game, but the Foster sisters were more centered with not as much high flying.

I could remember it like yesterday, the day the magic stop for a while. My friend Delliarice "Deli" Duncun met me all sad and heart broken, and she said, Palmer did you hear the bad news, I was wondering what Deli was speaking of. After prompting her she told me, Joanne, has retired from Netball, I was shock, for one thing. the super athlete was just a teenager, and she was at the top of her game. Why would she retire? I asked even today.

I doubted Deli but she was correct. About five or so years later, my friend Deli came to me once again, this time she was all excited, then she said to me “Palmer did you hear the good news?” I was lost, what was this good news? And then she said “Palmer boy you will never believe it,” She pause for a while looking all excited and then she declared “boy Palmer Joanne is back.” That was indeed good news. I wanted to see, if the long layoff of five or six years, had any effect on Joanne's game, I wanted to know does she still have it!

I made myself present to see the only person who was responsible for me abandoning Soccer and Victoria Park and got me addicted to Netball; She was actually back after a long layoff from the sport. I often wonder what could have been responsible for this super athlete, leaving the game she loved and master for so long and what brought her back?

Later, when I got into basketball, I had a natural propensity for the sport. I was extremely good at the game. I made national trials the first year playing but did not participate because of an accident that rendered me unhealthy, and later, when the SVG Basketball Associate had their very first slam down competition; at 5' 11" I made the finals of the inaugural slam dunk competition in St. Vincent and the Grenadines.

At that time of my life, the only basketball I had ever seen, was that which was being played on the court in St. Vincent. There was no YouTube and cable TV was restricted to Cane Garden and Dorchester Hill and I had no friend in those area. So when the other guys were trying to find out, where I watch the NBA and how do I get access to Chicago Bulls games; I did not know what they were speaking about, for I did not have access to basketball, to the NBA Games or to the Chicago Bulls games. In their mind, my style was to advance for the few months I was playing the game. The senior Basket ballers who had access to cable, who were watching the NBA on Cable TV though I was watching Michael Jordan and I was imitating Mike.

Up to that time, I have only heard of Michael Jordan, I saw his photographs on the magazine covers in the store. All I was doing was replicating and transiting Joanne Ballantyne Netball game into my Basketball. My lay ups was a carbon copy of Joanne Ballentyne catching the ball on the run, taking the two steps, however instead of passing the ball I took it to the net. So you can say when Bert and the other player who had access to the NBA and Michael Jordan games, were trying to be like Mike, I was playing like Joanna Ballantyne; the greatest athlete: I Allan Palmer had ever seen.

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