Many years ago, when I was still a child. My dear mother passed away. At her death, Mother left behind a husband, and seven children. There were four young adult and three minor children. I was the youngest of those children, and there were my sisters Andrea and Charmaine.
My mother's death rocked our family to the core of its foundation. I don't
think any of us; daddy included, ever truly recovered, from that devastating
lost to our family. As for me, I suffered greatly; I cannot say, because I was
the youngest, I suffered more than anyone else. But for crying out loud, I was
only seven years old, when my mother died.
The best way I could described how my mother's death affected our family, is by
comparing, Mother's death to a large Greyhound bus; speeding along the freeway,
filled to capacity with children, no one was wearing a seat belt, and the right
front wheel of the bus, just popped off.
My mother's death affected my schooling. I fell to the bottom of the class and
stayed there for a very long time. I experienced failure after failure. I
failed so much, today, I will try anything, not afraid to fail. But thanks to
The Most High God, who blessed me with super intelligence, wisdom and a
beautiful memory, my failing days are behind me.
I saw the impact my mother's death, had on all of my siblings even my father.
It was so devastating, and we were all in unfamiliar waters. We had to get by
how we could; everything changed. We tried our best to appear normal, but there
was nothing normal about our family after Mother's death. We huddled together
and we hang in there, the best we could; but there was nothing normal about our
family again.
We all hurt and looked for help and for answers, anywhere we could. Thanks to
the Most High, we had a strong father who hurt but tried his best to keep us
together. When I though my older siblings were doing well because of their age,
they also hurt tremendously; and were barely keeping it together. Today, we all
bore the scars of losing a mother, at so early an age in our lives.
I can also remember, while I was still a very small child; someone came to our
home bearing some very unfortunate news. I cannot remember if it was before or
after our mothers passing. However, the individual informally informed us, as
neighbors often does, of the passing of one of our neighbor. Mrs. Harry. Mrs.
Harry also live in Rose Place, in the Capital of St. Vincent and the Grenadines
Kingstown.
I did not know Mrs. Harry, because I was too young to remember her even if I
met her. Like my family, Mrs. Harry upon dying left behind, her Husband and
seven children. Unfortunately and unlike my family's situation. Mrs. harry
whom, if my juvenile memories serves me correctly, died in child's birth.
Another thing that was unlike my family situation was: Mrs. Harry left behind
seven minor children. The youngest one the baby she gave birth to upon her
death just a day old. I do not know for sure, but I think her oldest daughter
Claira Harry; could not have been no older than thirteen years old when her
mother passed away.
Their father who was known by his peers as Grinds and to us Children Mr. Grinds,
was a deep-sea fisherman; who left home early in the morning to ply his trade
and to make a living to ensure his family did not go hungry, naked or homeless.
He often return home in the evening sometimes late evening.
With the Passing of Mrs. Harry, the responsibility for her children fell square
in the lap of her oldest daughter Claira; who was only a child herself and
still needed her mother’s love and attention. He still had to learn how to be a
child and need the guidance of her mother.
However, with the death of her mother, she had to forget about her childhood,
forget about playing and take care of her younger siblings. Because they needed
her more then they needed anyone else. I don't know how this child: Claira did
it but she was able to manage.
I could remember as a very young child, hearing people saying how good a job
she is doing with her younger siblings. She got them up each day, ensure they
were fed, prepared them for school. Their hair was always well combed, the
girls braided of course. Their school uniform were always well laundered
(washed and pressed).
It was not too long after, life in the neighborhood went back to normal. The
people forgot that Mrs. Harry Children was still without a mother and Claira
was just a child. However, I always remembered the conversations of Mrs.
Harry's death and how good a job Claira was doing with her six younger siblings.
I don't know if those positive sentiments ever reach her little ear, but I am
sure it would have helped if they did.
Later when I was old enough to explore my neighborhood on my own and make
friend with the other children within the neighborhood. I got to know four
young boys. I got to know Blue-blue and poor-Joe. I always admired these guys,
I think Blue-blue was the oldest and was about 2 or so years older that I am. Yes
they were still children but they were extremely responsible.
Their father had a little rowing boat, both brothers knew how to row their
father's boat, and they were strong rowers also. They knew how to fish and they
were good fishers also. I wanted to be like them. My father had a rowing boat
also, however, I could not row and I was too young to take it out on my own.
Then there were Joe (Joseph) and Christ (Christopher) the two youngest of the
boys and their baby sister Deedee. I felt a connection to these four brother
and their sisters, I have never felt with anyone ever before. I did not know
why. But they felt like we were family.
I did not realized that these were Mrs. Harry boys, the lady who dies so many
years ago; the Mother and children I still remembered hearing about. No one
asked or spoke about their mother’s death. They did not complained or made any
excuses.
All of Mrs. Harry's children grew up to be decent, respectable and contributing
citizen of St. Vincent and the Grenadines. Christopher Harry, became a skilled
footballer, who went on to become a national footballer (Soccer) and
represented St. Vincent and the Grenadines, at the National level for several
years. He is also known as Christopher "Brazilian" Harry. His nick
name or his alias is a testimony to the level and soccer skill he became known
for.
When my mother died, she left behind a husband, four young adult children and
three minor children. In a family with five adult; life became an unending
rocky journey. A road of emotional trauma and confusion. I am afraid to
imagine, what the emotional life in the Harry household was like, after their
mother’s death. The emotional trauma these children went through; and were
forced to overcome and the physical and emotional scars, they all have because
of their experiences.
When you come to think of it; could the Harry children made it without their
thirteen years old, older sibling who had to immediately grow up, take on a set
of responsibilities she was not ready, prepared or trained for. Very often the
inadvertent sacrifice of such people go unnoticed, unrewarded, unrecognized.
Let me take this opportunity to thank Claira Harry for the effort and hard work
she dedicated to her younger siblings, at the death of her mother. Efforts that
give me some, honorable and honest friend, in her sibling; friendship I have learn
to cherish and love.
I can tell you the debt of gratitude I have for all of my siblings: all my
brothers and sisters who played a key role in helping me through a rough time
in our family's life, a rough time they too were experiencing. I am still
trying to come to terms with Claira herculean effort and the inner resolves of
the Harry’s children to overcome everything obstacle that was put in their part
and becoming proud, honored citizen of our society.
